Never Set The Cat On Fire

Never Set The Cat On Fire

Instructions for a child living on a spaceship from Frank Hayes

Never set the cat on fire, you only will annoy it
The flames will make the beast perspire; it surely won't enjoy it
Likewise do not ignite the dog, the snake, the gerbil, or the frog
No, never set the cat on fire


{Refrain}
And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire


Don't open up the cabin hatch; the air is sure to leave it
And air is very hard to catch; you never will retrieve it
And even though your life's a bore, don't open the reactor door
Don't open up the cabin hatch

{Refrain}

Don't change the navigator's data, someone's sure to see ya
You know the captain's view of that, a very bad idea
He doesn't want his ship to race forever lost in endless space
Don't change the navigator's data

{Refrain}

Don't start an interstellar war; it has no helpful uses
When someone asks you 'what's it for?', you'll only make excuses
If thirty trillion folks get hurt, you'll go to bed with no dessert!
Don't start an interstellar war

{Refrain twice}